10 Consequences of Being an Unprepared Mom

9:00 am ByFiled UnderMisc., New Mom, Top Ten

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my one year as a mom so far is that planning and preparation are vital components of everyday life. Gone are the lazy weekend mornings spent sprawled on the couch sipping coffee and discussing what you and your spouse might feel like doing that afternoon. Once baby enters the picture, you’re lucky to accomplish anything (even a shower) that day if you don’t have it planned in advance.

Here are some of the consequences you may suffer:

  1. You end up late(r than normal). Church, family visits, heck even grocery trips on a schedule, you name it, and we’re late for it. When we plan, we can make it a “fashionably late” appearance, but when we’re not prepared, we’ll sometimes miss the whole darn thing (or show up hours late, and that’s not fashionable, that’s embarrassing).
  2. You have to wear dirty wrinkly clothes – Because who has time to iron when you’ve barely had time to pull your outfit out of the laundry bin (because it’s definitely not in the closet or drawer where it belongs) and throw it on?
  3. You probably look like crap – see above. When you’re rushing out the door, hair and makeup take a backseat to brushed teeth and not going out naked.
  4. You will probably forget something. Like your daughter’s spare clothes and pacifier so when you pick her up she’s wearing too-small pants and grumpy from not napping (I mean, not that I’ve ever done something like that or anything…).
  5. You could wind up without a lunch – which is especially unpleasant when you don’t get a lunch break at work and you can’t stomach another sandwich from the only place that will deliver an order less than $10.
  6. Your child may overhear a swear word or two as you’re rushing to get out the door and then begin repeating it.
  7. You’ll end up eating Ramen for dinner – Sure, it’s a great dinner during your college years, but kind of a bummer after that.
  8. Your daughter could miss a bath or two – A day here or there, not a big deal, but when your kid starts getting a mystery rash, it’s probably time to up the bath frequency.
  9. Your stress level is higher and you might be a little bit grumpy – especially when numbers 2, 3, and 5 are all a part of your day.
  10. You wind up covered from head to toe in yogurt minutes before you were planning to rush out the door because you neglected to prepare your daughter’s lunch in advance and in your haste to complete that task this morning you dropped the open yogurt container on the floor and it splattered all over your only clean and ironed outfit for work so you have to find all of the components to a brand new one resulting numbers 1,2,3,6 and 9…or something like that.

You would think that after a year, I would have the hang of this by now. And if not weekends, you would think I would have a grasp on the fact that weekdays require preparation. And lots of it. You would think…

But if you want to know the truth about my morning today, see number 10.

This post is part of Oh Amanda’s Top Ten {Tuesday} blog carnival. Check out more great lists of 10 here.

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Dear Sleep Fairy (a letter from a concerned mother)

8:18 pm ByFiled UnderMisc., Top Ten, Uncategorized

Dear Sleep Fairy:

I’m writing to you as a both a concerned client and mother. We desperately need your help!

It seems that you’ve been absent lately.

I tried turning to the Sandman, but he didn’t respond (and is kind of a creep) so I’m writing this letter to plead you to please send some of your sleep magic our way again.

You see, The Munchkin doesn’t like to sleep anymore. While she always has been a bit of an early riser and sleep fighter, we used to at least be able to count on a solid block of sleep from 8 p.m. until 5:30 the next morning. Perhaps you stopped visiting because you overheard me complaining about her waking at that hour. Please, please don’t hold it against me. I would be thrilled if she would sleep until then. Heck, I would do back flips for you if she would make it until 5 a.m.

For some reason, Sleep Fairy, lately The Munchkin insists on waking at midnight, 2:30 and then attempts to start her day in the fours.

I hate to sound harsh, but this is unacceptable. Have you taken a vacation? We miss you. We need you back. We never even got a postcard.

Before you walk out on us completely (and ensure that The Hubs and I will complete the transformation to  sleep-deprived zombies) please review the reasons we so desperately need you and reconsider:

  1. If The Munchkin gets more sleep, The Hubs and I get more sleep, and if I get more sleep, I’m nicer. In my nice state, I can be convinced to do many nice things for nice people, who will in turn do nice things for other nice people, thus making the world a better place.
  2. A good night’s sleep makes for a less crabby Munchkin, thus making everyone who has any contact with her happy – again making the world a better place.
  3. My house will be cleaner because I will have the energy to clean it because I won’t be up all night soothing The Munchkin which means guests won’t be terrified to enter our house which means that they will be in a less stressed mood when they leave and won’t have to take it out on other people, once again making the world a better place (Are you sensing a pattern here?).
  4. If my house is cleaner, The Hubs and I could actually dedicate time to the outside of our house, which would be pleasing to the people in our neighborhood who would stop having to be grumpy every time they look at our dumpy front yard thinking how it devalues our neighborhood and be happier with the entire neighborhood and again, make the world a better place.
  5. If the house is clean and the yard work is done, The Hubs and I will have lots and lots of time to play with The Munchkin and take her to visit and do nice things for other people, making the world a better place.
  6. Sunlight will be allowed to enter our house because we won’t be trying to block it in fruitless attempts to take naps and we all know sun light has a direct impact on moods, and well, refer to number one. In short, the world will be a better place.
  7. There will be two less zombies in the world, obviously making it a better place.
  8. There will be one less crabby pants, making the world a better place.
  9. Instead of zombies and crabs, there will be a joyful, pleasant, happy family that will inspire other families with their contagious happiness thus making the world a better place.
  10. The World Will Be A Better Place.

As evidenced by the above, if you have any consideration at all for the well being of our family and in turn the world, you will return to work your magic in our home.

Respectfully,

A Concerned Mother

This post is part of Oh Amanda’s Top 10 Tuesday blog carnival. Check out other great lists of 10 there.

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