Dear Mom

9:49 pm ByFiled UnderMisc., MOMent of the Day, Thank You

Dear Mom,

In honor of Mother’s Day, I wanted to write about a stand-out MOMent I remember having with you. Like most kids, I never really understood or appreciated all the things you’ve done for me. I don’t think I’ve ever told you about all of the times when you really made a difference in my life, and I certainly don’t think I’ve ever recounted a particular moment and thanked you for being there for me. But when I tried to choose something specific, I couldn’t.  I couldn’t think of an exact memory that stands out because you’ve always been there for me. No matter what. Even when I didn’t want you to be.

So, thank you.

Thank you for enduring hours upon hours of drug-free labor to have me nearly two weeks late. As someone who has recently gone through childbirth, even going two days before my due date was agony – and I didn’t have to put up with the unsightly maternity clothes you were forced to wear or being in my third trimester during the hottest part of the year…

Thank you for being my kindergarten teacher and the best teacher I’ve ever had. In my life. Ever…

Thank you for driving me to school every year on the first day of school and walking me to my class, even in sixth grade as I terrifyingly started junior high. And thank you for the many drives you would make to that building after an exhausting day of work to pick up a book I would need for a homework assignment or sometimes my entire backpack…

On that note, thank you thank you for putting up with such a scatterbrained and easily distracted kid. As my own daughter can sometimes take up to fifteen minutes to climb half a flight of stairs because she becomes sidetracked by lint on the steps or making her toys slide down the railings, I’m gaining more and more of an appreciation for the patience you had with me (and believe me, at the time I didn’t think you had much – I’m now learning I was sorely mistaken)…

Thank you for crying all those times throughout my childhood and beyond when I would roll my eyes and tell you not to. Like my senior year on senior night during the half-time show of the football game when you proudly walked with me in my full band nerdom, tears welling up in your eyes. Or whenever you’d watch some sappy movie. Now I understand. Now that I have two babies of my own, Rice Krispie commercials can choke me up. And the sight of my handsome baby boy smiling at me just melts my heart. Now I understand…

Thank you for teaching me how to bake cookies and letting me eat the dough…

Thank you for the occasional Parlour treat when we’d have dessert before dinner…

Thank you for instilling in me the proper love and appreciation that chocolate deserves, and always sharing yours with me (or stealing mine from my Halloween and Easter candy)…

Thank you for goodnights that would last for hours and always listening and always saying, “I love you,”…

Thank you for always being the one to make me feel better when I am hurt, whether it was from a fall in the driveway, a fight with a friend or even being dumped. Even when I didn’t want to tell you about it…

Thank you for letting me grow up and graduate and go to college and get married and start a family of my own. Even when you didn’t want to let me go…

Thank you for always supporting my every decision…

Thank you for showing me what a strong, beautiful, amazing mom and woman is and for giving me someone I can aspire to be like…

When I was younger I used to say that I wasn’t going to do things like my mom. But now that I am one, I continue to find myself trying to be more like you.

Thank you for being you – my most perfect mom.

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The New Bathroom Decor

7:34 pm ByFiled UnderFiner Things, MOMent of the Day, Thank You

Most moms quickly learn that once you have a baby, having a bathroom to yourself is a luxury. And a rarity. Hence, most of the time when I’m in the bathroom showering, getting ready for work or whatever, The Munchkin is with me.

Because it’s a bathroom, there are many areas of it that I prefer she not play with (like the toilet, or the cabinets under our sink – and yes, I know I need to baby-proof the bathroom). I usually have her in my sight at all times. This morning as I was brushing my teeth, I took 30 seconds – maybe even less – to spit out the toothpaste and rinse my mouth. The Munchkin was looking at a book.

In those 30 seconds (maybe less), this happened:

Stealth little booger, isn’t she?

For some reason, it made my morning.

And when I got home from work and discovered the pile still sitting there (because Lord knows we did not have time to clean it up before we rushed out the door this morning), it made gave me a chuckle and made my afternoon. I think I’ll let it stay there until tomorrow. It adds a nice touch to the room, don’t you think?

This post is linked to Thank You Journal over at Alli ‘n Son. Head on over there to see what other people are appreciating. It’s also linked to Finer Things Friday at The Finer Things in Life. Check there for more of the finest.

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Being Present

2:07 pm ByFiled UnderMOMent of the Day, Thank You

Thank You Journal @ Alli 'n Son

You know, I was all ready to go with a post about finances and Mission SAHM stuff, but I had a MOMent today that inspired me more than any of that. I’ll get to that topic soon though, I promise, but just not today.

Sometimes, in my quest to get to the “next” thing, whatever it may be, I forget to just stop and appreciate the “right now.”

Today started early. Like waaay early. Like 4 a.m. early. After consuming a bit too much caffeine yesterday and not falling asleep until after midnight, that hour was brutal. Especially when it began with an incessant little cough blaring through the baby monitor in our bedroom.

It felt like I had just drifted off when I heard it.

*Cough*

I stirred, but a cough or two isn’t anything too unusual so I decided to remain snuggled into my pillow with my body half-covered by the bit of sheet the dog and Hubs were willing to share.

*Cough, Cough*

There it was again.

And again.

And again.

Until finally concern got the better of me and I went to check on The Munchkin, the usual worst-case-scenario thoughts racing through my sleepy mom brain as I lumbered down the dark hallway to her room.

“She’s choking on something. She’s gagging. What if it’s too late,” The thoughts hissed in the back of my mind.

She was fine.

The coughing hadn’t even really disturbed her too much. Her eyes were still closed and she was still curled up in a ball with her baby bum in the air in the corner of her crib.

Of course, being the concerned mom that I am, I couldn’t resist patting her back and wiping the hair, which was matted to her sweaty cheek and eyes, back behind her ear. Those reassuring, tender, loving, mommy actions turned out to be just enough to rouse The Munchkin into a more awakened state. Not reassuring at all it seemed. The coughing resumed and she was quickly in tears, mad that I had the nerve to try to comfort her when she was managing the cough perfectly fine on her own while sleeping thankyouverymuch!

Her little mouth assumed its perfect pout (the one she was born making) when she realized I was standing there and (part of) the reason she was awake (she was poopy, so I’m not claiming all of the blame here). That pout is adorable and heartbreaking all at the same time, and she has perfected its use.

And as I stood there in the soft, pink glow of her flower night light, admiring the pout and deciding how to respond, she reached out to me, desperate to escape the confines of her crib (and probably the poopy diaper).

I knew I had no choice. I scooped her up and she clung to me, arms wrapped tightly around my neck, head buried into my shoulder and coughed and cried. She needed her mommy right now – even if I was the one who had ruined her sleep.

I changed her diaper and at first my mind raced to today. What little sleep I had. How I would likely not get anymore. All of the things I had to do for work and how difficult it would be to complete them as groggy as I was destined to be by the time my work day would start at 9 a.m. What the possible culprit could be for this coughing and whether or not The Munchkin was getting another cold. I began resenting my job and the fact that I was up at this ridiculous hour.

But then I looked at my crying, coughing baby girl. And I refused to let those thoughts take me away from her in that moment. None of the rest of the day mattered at this point in time. My baby girl was sad, uncomfortable and sleepy. She needed me to make her feel better. She needed me present, with her in her moment.

So I was. I cast aside my anxiety about the sleep-deprived day; my fears about what the cause of the coughing attack could be and even my guilt about waking The Munchkin when she clearly needed the sleep even more than I did.

I brought her into bed with us. The Hubs woke up and got some water and infant Motrin. I patted her back when she coughed and just laid with her. Quietly. Focusing only on the “right now” – what was needed of me in this MOMent.

Eventually The Munchkin settled back down, snuggled in my arms, and we both drifted off to sleep for a little while.

When the time came, much too soon, to get into the shower and continue on with my day, I felt refreshed in spite of my exhaustion.

Yes, physically I was tired. But mentally, emotionally, I was refreshed because I forced myself to be in that moment. I pushed everything else away – all the nagging and whatifs and noise (because that’s all it really is, right? Noise.) and just focused on being there for my little girl. And I relished the fact that we had that time together this morning. Especially because I know someday, all too soon, just being there to hold and hug her when she cries in the night might not be enough. And one day I won’t be able to just bring her back into bed with us.

Today though, it turns out that it was just what we both needed.

This post is linked to Thank You Journal over at Alli ‘n Son. What are you thankful for today?

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I’m Glad He Proved Me Wrong

12:43 pm ByFiled UnderMarriage, Thank You

There are dishes waiting to be washed in my sink right now. A menu and grocery list begging to be written. Shopping and planning and packing for our upcoming trip is currently on delay. And you know what? I am thankful for it.

I’m thankful that I didn’t stay up late washing dishes, picking out clothes for today and packing lunches. I appreciate that I was rushing around, running late this morning due to my lack of planning. I’m glad that I didn’t get the menu and grocery list done because if I had, I would have missed it.

Last night, after we put The Munchkin to bed, The Hubs and I were in our bedroom while I was staring blankly into my closet to plan my outfit for the next day. I was trying to hastily get through the hopeless search and onto the next item on my never-ending To-Do List when he climbed into bed. At 7:30 p.m.

“What are you doing,” I asked, not bothering to hide my agitation.

“What,” he responded, giving me one of his I-love-messing-with-you-and-never-get-tired-of-testing-your-limits-to-see-your-reaction looks.

I rolled my eyes at him, clearly aware that he was doing this just to get a reaction.

He pulled back the covers on my side of the bed and patted the spot next to him.

“Come on,” he said. “Just for a minute.”

I rolled my eyes again and gave an exasperated sigh. “We have so much stuff to do just for tomorrow,” I replied. “And I’m not even going to start on all the crap that needs to be done before we leave for our vacation.”

“I know,” he said. “Just for a minute.” I just want to relax with you for a little bit without the TV or the computer or anything.”

He was serious. And it was so sweet. And I felt torn. My To-Do List was still blaring in my head.

“But, there’s so much to do,” I whined guiltily, rattling off the things at the top of my List.

“I know,” he said. “I’ll help. I make the menu at work tomorrow on my break.”

I stood there, looking at him. Considering.

“Please,” he said. “Just five minutes. We just need some quiet time together.”

I knew I couldn’t say no. Not to this man who loved me and just wanted to spend a few quality moments with me. Not this time.

I sighed and grudgingly crawled into my place next to him.

“Come snuggle me,” he said. “Just five minutes.”

I scooted closer and nuzzled my head into the spot on his chest. The spot where it always rests the best. He wrapped his arms around me. And we talked.

Not deep, poetic conversation. Just conversation. Uninterrupted.

We enjoyed each other’s company.

And five minutes became 10.

And 10 turned into 20. Then 30. Before we knew it, over an hour had gone by. And we were still lounging in bed. Lazily enjoying each other’s company and our marriage.

*Sigh*

Finally, I gave up on my To-Do List. I came to terms with the dishes in the sink and the lunches yet to be packed. I was ok with the inevitable rushing that would ensue this morning.

Because this? This time that we spent together as a couple, as husband and wife, best friends, confidants? Was way more important. And much more fun.

And that other stuff? I realized it would be ok to ignore it for a little while.

It turns out, The Hubs sometimes is right every once in a while after all.

And I’m so thankful he let me be wrong.

Thank You Journal @ Alli 'n Son finer things friday Finer Things Friday: Late Night Bonding

This post is linked to Thank You Journal over at Alli ‘n Son. Head on over there to see what other people are appreciating today. It’s also linked to Finer Things Friday over at Amy’s Finer Things. Check out more of the finest there.

And don’t forget to enter my giveaway!

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Thank You

9:22 pm ByFiled UnderMisc., Thank You

Dear God,

It’s me. I know, I don’t do this often enough, but I just want to take a moment and say, Thank you.

It seems that when things are tough, or when I really want something, we have a lot more conversations than we do when I’m not seeking anything. I’m sorry about that. Really. Especially because I don’t think I express enough to you my gratitude for everything you’ve done for me. I know I owe it all to you. And so today I just want to say, Thanks.

Thank you for all of the blessings you have given me in life – especially my beautiful daughter, amazing husband and our family. They are my world and I just want you to know how appreciative I am that we have each other.

And, I know that I ask you for many things, some of which are trivial, some great desires. Things like getting married some day, a job, having our offer accepted on the house we wanted, our honeymoon, our dog, a raise, children, being a stay-at-home-mom….

Lots of times it feels like I’m going to you and asking for more, more, more.

Recently, I changed my tune. Instead of asking for more, I asked you to help me find contentment in what you have provided already. And you know what? I have. It’s an amazing feeling.

Sure, there are still things I want, but I’m ok with however it all works out. I’m happy with the place I am in life and all of the blessings I get to enjoy each day – MOMents with my little girl, meaningful conversations with my husband, phone calls with my mom and dad, visits with my sister and wonderful family who live nearby, the joy of being able to leave The Munchkin with loved ones – these only scratch the surface of the happiness you have provided in my life.

And I almost missed them because I was getting too wrapped up in the things that I want instead of appreciating the things that I have.

So thank you.

Thank you for opening my heart and my eyes to the abundance of things I have to appreciate and enjoy. Thank you for helping me understand that no matter what, you will provide. And thank you for leading me to this place in life where I can be content with that knowledge.

Thank you.

I know this blog isn’t a “religious” blog, but in my very first post I promised you that I would be honest about what’s going on in my life. This is an important part of that. For those of you who find yourselves uncomfortable with religious discussion – I understand. I was there once. My motivation is not to preach, just to share experiences in my life.

And to make it up to you, I’ll post about something light-hearted next time. :)

This post is link to Thank You Journal over at Alli ‘n Son. Head over there to see more thanks.

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