Dear Sleep Fairy:

I’m writing to you as a both a concerned client and mother. We desperately need your help!

It seems that you’ve been absent lately.

I tried turning to the Sandman, but he didn’t respond (and is kind of a creep) so I’m writing this letter to plead you to please send some of your sleep magic our way again.

You see, The Munchkin doesn’t like to sleep anymore. While she always has been a bit of an early riser and sleep fighter, we used to at least be able to count on a solid block of sleep from 8 p.m. until 5:30 the next morning. Perhaps you stopped visiting because you overheard me complaining about her waking at that hour. Please, please don’t hold it against me. I would be thrilled if she would sleep until then. Heck, I would do back flips for you if she would make it until 5 a.m.

For some reason, Sleep Fairy, lately The Munchkin insists on waking at midnight, 2:30 and then attempts to start her day in the fours.

I hate to sound harsh, but this is unacceptable. Have you taken a vacation? We miss you. We need you back. We never even got a postcard.

Before you walk out on us completely (and ensure that The Hubs and I will complete the transformation to  sleep-deprived zombies) please review the reasons we so desperately need you and reconsider:

1. If The Munchkin gets more sleep, The Hubs and I get more sleep, and if I get more sleep, I’m nicer. In my nice state, I can be convinced to do many nice things for nice people, who will in turn do nice things for other nice people, thus making the world a better place.
2. A good night’s sleep makes for a less crabby Munchkin, thus making everyone who has any contact with her happy – again making the world a better place.
3. My house will be cleaner because I will have the energy to clean it because I won’t be up all night soothing The Munchkin which means guests won’t be terrified to enter our house which means that they will be in a less stressed mood when they leave and won’t have to take it out on other people, once again making the world a better place (Are you sensing a pattern here?).
4. If my house is cleaner, The Hubs and I could actually dedicate time to the outside of our house, which would be pleasing to the people in our neighborhood who would stop having to be grumpy every time they look at our dumpy front yard thinking how it devalues our neighborhood and be happier with the entire neighborhood and again, make the world a better place.
5. If the house is clean and the yard work is done, The Hubs and I will have lots and lots of time to play with The Munchkin and take her to visit and do nice things for other people, making the world a better place.
6. Sunlight will be allowed to enter our house because we won’t be trying to block it in fruitless attempts to take naps and we all know sun light has a direct impact on moods, and well, refer to number one. In short, the world will be a better place.
7. There will be two less zombies in the world, obviously making it a better place.
8. There will be one less crabby pants, making the world a better place.
9. Instead of zombies and crabs, there will be a joyful, pleasant, happy family that will inspire other families with their contagious happiness thus making the world a better place.
10. The World Will Be A Better Place.

As evidenced by the above, if you have any consideration at all for the well being of our family and in turn the world, you will return to work your magic in our home.

Respectfully,

A Concerned Mother

This post is part of Oh Amanda’s Top 10 Tuesday blog carnival. Check out other great lists of 10 there.