A Hugging Lesson

9:18 pm ByFiled UnderMOMent of the Day

I know I’ve posted about it before, but there’s nothing that can brighten my day like a hug from The Munchkin. She’s been especially into it lately. When you give her a doll or stuffed animal, she takes it from you and squeezes it so tight even her chubby little cheeks and nose squish. Then she pats the thing’s back and says, “Ohhh.” It’s so stinkin’ cute!

Usually with people, her hugs are cued by something. The arrival of Grandma means a hug. Daddy soothing her when she wakes up in the night means a hug. Walking games with any of her aunts usually end in hugs. And of course, when she receives the aforementioned cuddly toy, a hug is in order.

But yesterday, after a long day of work and a longer day of day care for The Munchkin, things were a little different.

It had been a tough day for  both of us, starting with the morning day care drop. After a week off, The Munchkin is having a harder time than ever before when I have to leave her to go to work. This week, she cried the minute we walked through the door of her classroom and clung to me for dear life. It has been heart wrenching to leave her, covered in tears, reaching after me. I can hear her sobs even after I’ve closed the door. And I have to choke back my own tears.

I hate it. I hate leaving her. Especially when she is desperate to stay with me. Especially to go someplace I hate to be, but unfortunately, I have to right now (hopefully not for long).

Mornings like this make it impossible for me to do my job. Even while I’m physically present at work, my mind is with my daughter, worrying about how she’s eating, if she’ll nap, if she’s ok. I have been struggling to keep up with my work load because most of me just doesn’t care. It’s not important to me anymore. My daughter is.

I look at the picture of her saved on my computer desktop and wait until enough minutes have crawled by to call and check on her with the hope that I won’t hear her crying in the background. Her teachers always tell me she’s doing fine. And I believe them (mostly), but I can’t help but feel sad. And more than a little guilty. I wonder if in her little toddler mind, she thinks I’ll never come back. I wonder if she’ll start to feel like I don’t love her because I leave her, sobbing and reaching for me. Just when she seems to need me most of all, I’m walking out the door.

Somehow though, we manage to get through the day, as we do all days like this. Though the hours drag, it’s finally time for me to pick her up and take her home. Despite the morning sadness, The Munchkin is excited and happy as ever to see me. I’m always greeted with outstretched arms, big grins, and a hug.

Once we get home, The Munchkin enjoys a snack and then we head down to the family room for some play time. That’s when one of the best things in the world happens.

Here is my MOMent:

Some music is playing from one of her toys and The Munchkin is “dancing.” She’s waving her arms to the rhythm of the music and trying to figure out exactly what to do with the lower half of her body. Some baby squats, bounces and sways are taking place. I’m sitting on the floor a few feet away from her to give her enough space to move, cheering for her.

Out of the blue, in mid-song, she looks at me and drops to the floor. Before I know it, she’s crawling at top speed in my direction. She climbs into my lap, throws her arms around my neck and gives me a giant hug.

For no reason at all.

She pats my back and says, “Ohh.”

All of the remaining stress from our day melts away as my daughter, with her little hand patting my back, reminds me of what’s most important: making the most of the time we do get to spend together.

It’s as if she knows how terrible I feel for putting her through hellish mornings like the one we survived that day. She is letting me know in her one-year-old way that it’s ok. She loves me no matter what. And she knows I love her.

It is exactly what both of us needed.

I know that the hug doesn’t magically erase the tough morning, and I certainly know that there will be plenty more of them in the weeks and months ahead. Even after I (hopefully) leave my job, I know that there will be times when The Munchkin is upset and there isn’t anything I can do. Except give her a hug.  And  as long as we’ve got those, I know everything will end up ok.

This post is part of the Finer Things Friday blog carnival hosted by Amy’s Finer Things. Check out some of the finest here.

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Our First Hug

10:06 pm ByFiled UnderMOMent of the Day

Sometimes, after a long night of little sleep (actually, three now) and an even longer day of demanding work and home life, you just need a hug. The Munchkin seemed to know this about me today, and it was priceless.

As you may remember from my last post, The Munchkin is sick. What I thought was a simple case of pink eye has turned out to be a wicked ear infection. But of course, the fun doesn’t end there. The germs have continued their mission to make my baby miserable by adding a constantly runny and boogery nose, a very unpleasant cough and a fever that keeps creeping back like a stalker. We have been coping with a good dose of amoxicillin, some Tylenol and lots of hugs.

Here is my MOMent:

The Hubs has recently arrived home from work and picks up The Munchkin who has eagerly crawled to greet him as soon as he walks through the door. They smile and greet each other and then The Hubs and I proceed to our conversation about what to throw together for dinner tonight. The mere thought of cooking exhausts me. Our kitchen isn’t exactly what one would call tidy right now and I am too tired and stressed to deal with it. Even a freezer meal seems overwhelming.

The Munchkin, seeming to sense my tense state, leans toward me from her father’s arms. The Hubs and I both assume she wants to be held by me, so I step toward them to complete the baby exchange. Instead of simply waiting for me to take her, The Munchkin surprises me by leaning even further out of her dad’s arms so that by the time I go to take her from him, she’s already almost in my arms. Her top half is now in my grip, while her bottom half remains with The Hubs. In one fluid motion, I find myself embraced by my little girl. Her Pebbles-style pony tail tickles my chin as a chubby cheek mashes into my chest. Two little arms, stretched wide, rest just behind each shoulder. “Ohhhh,” she says, just the way I say it when I hug her. And then a little hand begins patting my back, just the way mine does when I’m hugging her.

My heart melts.

And then, the real reward comes. I realize I have taught her this – such a simple and universal act of kindness and love – definitely one of the finer things in life. It is my proudest moment yet as a mom. She’s learning more than just words and actions from me. She is learning love.

That’s my MOMent. What’s yours?

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